Late Phases

  • 2014
  • Drama
  • Horror
I don’t see a point in this werewolf movie. Are they trying to portray family drama with a monster as the backdrop or is everyone a metaphorical monster – I don’t know. I do appreciate what they did on a small budget, but that’s it.
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Avengers: Age of Ultron

  • 2015
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
This film takes the “punch line” term to wild levels, because after someone or something gets their ass kicked, a superhero has to make some snark about it. As much sass as there is, it will always get drowned out by explosions exploding on top of other explosions, which makes for one superbly fun, Summer blockbuster.
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Dumb and Dumber To

  • 2015
  • Comedy
I actually enjoyed how stupid this was because it's supposed to be. But, this film’s biggest mistake, along with many other recent comedies, is not being dumb but thinking your audience is. Stop holding my hand through an entire joke and then emphasizing on its punch line.
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Hot Tub Time Machine 2

  • 2015
  • Comedy
  • Sci-fi
This is supposed to be stupid and low-brow, but one thing I never thought it was going to be is boring.
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Whitey: United States of America v. James J. Bulger

  • 2014
  • Biography
  • Crime
  • Documentary
I checked this out in anticipation for the upcoming film Black Mass. One of the nastiest gangster tales here in America. The corruption goes both ways in this documentary where almost everyone is the bad guy.
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The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death

  • 2015
  • Drama
  • Horror
  • Thriller
This is more of a drag than it is scary, and the only scares you’re going to get are the lazy, jumpy ones.
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Blackhat

  • 2015
  • Action
  • Crime
  • Drama
This is booooring.
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Ex Machina

  • 2015
  • Drama
  • Sci-fi
So much can be taken away from this beautifully-crafted, Sci-fi concept. It stays relevant by using everyday tropes we’re familiar with and weaves it into the script, logically. A peak for A.I. films that will spur conversations after the film and create deep-seeded thoughts about our own existence.
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Comet

  • 2014
  • Comedy
  • Drama
  • Romance
This is the type of couple that’s always arguing at parties over some petty bullshit. On their fifth, angry drink, their debates become unnecessarily deep, and nearby friends start making faces behind their backs in hopes to liven-up the party. This backfires and their argument is now a public spectacle. A random patron tries to divert attention and yells out “C’mon guys, let’s have a good time!” In which, the angry girlfriend retorts, “Stay the fuck out of this, Phil! You’re a loser and that’s why Amy left you!” This is the last straw and all the friends start to boo the couple out of the party, never to be invited again. That’s the kind of couple I see when I saw this movie.
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Mortdecai

  • 2015
  • Action
  • Comedy
Irritating garbage.
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Nightlight

  • 2015
  • Horror
  • Thriller
Hey, see how it says “zero chance of survival” on the poster? Surprise, they all die! Movie has been spoiled and you don’t have to see this crap now.
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Laggies

  • 2014
  • Comedy
  • Romance
Good performances by a great cast. Although I’m not really sure what the moral is here and when I dig for it, I just get side-tracked with laughs.
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Big Eyes

  • 2014
  • Biography
  • Drama
Big Eyes' biggest performance is not by the loud Christoph Waltz who sounds like he's showing you a magic trick, it's by Amy Adam's submissive but compelling character. Tim Burton did not hit it big here, but it’s great to bring this story to the cinema.
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Palo Alto

  • 2013
  • Drama
Here’s the user-friendly version of Kids. It’s an honest look at the struggles of being a teenager in a city where...who I am kidding. I don’t care about this and you probably won’t either. Unless you got a bleeding heart for American high-schoolers.
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Teeth

  • 2007
  • Comedy
  • Horror
  • Thriller
This absurd concept works if the film is also absurd, which it is. There are some funny scenes that will make you laugh unexpectedly.
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The Drop

  • 2014
  • Crime
  • Drama
Low-end crime drama with high-end performances. The film’s characters do a great job of feeding you annoyances until it erupts into hot anger, which in turn, will deliver a satisfying twist.
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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1

  • 2014
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
District 13 is starving, wah. I'm more sad at this.
In Loving Memory of Philip Seymour Hoffman
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Unbroken

  • 2014
  • Biography
  • Drama
  • Sport
This movie is painful. Imagine getting your ass kicked all day by this angry drag queen.
Unbroken - Watanabe
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Listen Up Philip

  • 2014
  • Comedy
  • Drama
Maybe it’s because I had a fever coming on while watching this. Whatever it is, I didn’t care about anybody or anything that happened in this uneventful film.
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The Captive

  • 2014
  • Thriller
This dark and serious subject matter turns comedic. One detective actually becomes more stupid as he digs deeper into the case using hilarious, verbal intimidation followed by laziness.
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Hercules

  • 2014
  • Action
  • Adventure
Turn on your alcohol levels and turn up your stupid – this movie can be a lot of fun.
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It Follows

  • 2015
  • Horror
I immediately wanted to watch some kind of Pixar movie to clear my cloudy head, after seeing this. It took a long time to shake off the paranoia of seeing figures or faces that weren’t there. I can’t remember the last time I was affected like this, by a movie. It Follows is one the best horror films in existence.
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Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief

  • 2015
  • Documentary
Whatever you’ve heard about Scientology is now being told from multiple, ex-members that held high positions from within. I don’t know how much more damning you can get than that.
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The Rise and Rise of Bitcoin

  • 2014
  • Documentary
  • History
The origin and purpose of the Bitcoin was more fascinating to me than its actual value and this documentary will explain all of that. If the craze has peaked your interest and you would like to know more, then watch this.
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Teen Witch

  • 1989
  • Comedy
  • Fantasy
  • Romance
This is the most 80’s, 80’s movie, ever. Almost all of the nostalgic things that show up on your funny news feeds is in this film.
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Revenge of the Green Dragons

  • 2014
  • Action
  • Crime
  • Drama
The question still stands. Is there ever going to be a good, Asian, gangster movie?
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These Final Hours

  • 2015
  • Drama
  • Thriller
All of your Oktoberfests, your Rio Carnivals, your silly New Year’s raves, and redneck 4th of July parties got nothing on this End-of-the-World party.
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Kill the Messenger

  • 2014
  • Biography
  • Crime
  • Drama
A younger me heard theories about the CIA trafficking drugs and shrugged it off as conspiracy. Based off of this movie and some Googling, it seems more legit now. It’s also sad to see a journalist with integrity, Gary Webb, end up how he did.

If only Twitter existed at the time.
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Walk of Shame

  • 2014
  • Comedy
Pookie the Crackhead Has pretty much every element for a horrible comedy, except Pookie. This crackhead needs his own movie or a children’s TV hour.
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The Expendables 3

  • 2014
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Thriller
Bunch of aging meatheads trying to make a comeback with their trademark one-liners and awful acting. I’m not talking to the younger ones though because they can outrun me and kick my ass.
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Housebound

  • 2014
  • Comedy
  • Horror
  • Thriller
Bloody funny and bloody bloody. One of the best horror comedies I’ve seen since...shoot, I can’t remember. Maybe Cabin Fever? No, this is way better.
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Stretch

  • 2014
  • Action
  • Comedy
  • Thriller
The typical story of the underdog who can’t seem to get a break with his crippling debt has been done before, but this one does it slightly better.
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The House of the Devil

  • 2009
  • Horror
  • Mystery
Too slow. Greta Gerwig should have been the main character and the satanic stuff was generic. One big redeeming factor is the classic style of the film, which was dead-on.
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Top Five

  • 2014
  • Comedy
  • Romance
This is a funny Chris Rock movie – something we haven’t said in a long time. On top of the laughs, there is a great script about today’s media and all of its annoyances. My favorite was Rock’s movie wife channeling Kim Kardashian.
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Kill Your Darlings

  • 2013
  • Biography
  • Drama
  • Romance
If you love Harry Potter and do not have any adult responsibilities like paying rent or coping with depression, do not watch this. Hang onto whatever innocence you have left and stay away.
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The Giver

  • 2014
  • Drama
  • Sci-fi
A utopian society that lives without emotions has its interesting concept but requires a careful approach to – nope. Ten minutes in and they already screwed that up. Do not watch.
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Kingsman: The Secret Service

  • 2015
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
A wild action film with some of the most incredibly-crafted sequences I’ve ever seen. Then there’s the comedy that makes you forget it’s rated R. And, to top everything off, it makes fun itself as if it’s James Bond and Austin Power’s charmingly-stupid child. Speaking of kids, I got a final laugh when I saw a mother scurrying out of the theater with her child. It reminded me of the time a friend brought home Watchmen for her 8-year old.
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Into the Woods

  • 2014
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Fantasy
Singing turns into off-beat arguing.
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Citizenfour

  • 2014
  • Documentary
The information presented is compelling but it's really about a paranoid guy in a hotel room.
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I Origins

  • 2014
  • Drama
  • Sci-fi
A deep, Sci-fi romance that’s actually...soulful? I wasn’t crazy about this director/writer’s first film, Another Earth but it had a provoking concept. I, Origins is similar in style, but executed better.
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Deep Rising

  • 1998
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Horror
Gratuitously blows everything up with more than one climax. Not even in a bad-but-good-bad way.
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As Above, So Below

  • 2014
  • Horror
  • Mystery
  • Thriller
This belows.
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Before I Go to Sleep

  • 2014
  • Mystery
  • Thriller
A twist can only be as good as it is plausible. This is far out there and should be far away from any recommendations list.
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The Equalizer

  • 2014
  • Action
  • Crime
  • Thriller
Besides having the longest, cool-guy-walking-away-from-an-explosion-in-slow-mo scene, ever – this was a very enjoyable action flick. Denzel never fails to deliver top-notch'ing, shit-talking.
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Birdman

  • 2014
  • Comedy
  • Drama
Michael Keaton’s fictional biography.
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Tusk

  • 2014
  • Comedy
  • Drama
  • Horror
Whether or not Kevin Smith stopped caring about the concept or he was trying to come up with the most absurd one, he can still weave a movie together. I’ll always enjoy Smith’s work, no matter how looney it gets.
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If I Stay

  • 2014
  • Drama
  • Romance
Nurses are not allowed to emotionally encourage their patients to fight for their lives. This is one of the sappiest movies I have ever seen and I kind of hate it.
If I Stay Nurse
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Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

  • 2014
  • Crime
  • Thriller
In case you forgot how bad The Spirit was, people decided to give Frank Miller another chance to direct a movie. With an action-packed cast and Robert Rodriguez on his side, this potentially great franchise just hit its wall. I don’t mean swerving to avoid a baby carriage and then hitting a wall. I’m talking about a sober and focused driver seeing a wall and thinking, “I’m going to hit the shit out of that!”
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John Wick

  • 2014
  • Action
  • Thriller
Serves them right to mess with John Wick's puppy.
John Wick Puppy
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Jessabelle

  • 2014
  • Horror
  • Thriller
You know you lost your shit when the wheelchair scene happened in Jessabelle. Because...
Mac and Me Wheelchair Scene
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The Skeleton Twins

  • 2014
  • Comedy
  • Drama
Any fucked-up family can be funny when you got Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader as your siblings. They hate themselves and even each other, at times, but the bond I see onscreen is damn-near real.
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A Most Wanted Man

  • 2014
  • Thriller
How you felt about Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy is how you're going to feel about this. Almost exactly.
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Wild

  • 2014
  • Biography
  • Drama
I had the pleasure of seeing this with a real, outdoors-ey, hiker gal. It was smirkingly funny to see her reeling at all the backpacking mishaps Reese Witherspoon experienced. The thought of having diarrhea or the wrong shoes was far more terrifying than rattlesnakes and creepy rednecks.
Wild - Reese Witherspoon
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The Book of Life

  • 2014
  • Adventure
  • Animation
  • Comedy
This is a great movie to introduce kids into this culture by showing them in the most colorful, creative, and splashy way. A visually awe-inspiring and festive experience.
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This Is Where I Leave You

  • 2014
  • Comedy
  • Drama
A waste of a good cast. Everyone is an asshole to each other and not even in the whimsical, dysfunctional family, kind-of-way. They’re all just unfunny assholes that keep forgiving each other so they can continue to be assholes.
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Predestination

  • 2014
  • Action
  • Drama
  • Mystery
This will make your head spin. Sometimes, it's overwhelming and that’s where Sarah Snook brings you back to reality with her performance and conviction. It’s not one of the top mind-benders out there, but it's still a good one.
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The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

  • 2014
  • Adventure
  • Family
The very last battle was so stupid that I wanted to throw my milkshake at the screen and yell obscenities.
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Tammy

  • 2014
  • Comedy
One of 2014's worse.
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The Theory of Everything

  • 2014
  • Biography
  • Drama
  • Romance
You know the overall story of Stephen Hawking, but what about the life between him and Jane? The story doesn’t paint a glistening portrait of science-defying love, it draws out honest sketches. And, it does so with some extraordinary performances from both sides.
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Whiplash

  • 2014
  • Drama
  • Music
Whiplash: Full Music Jacket
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