Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

• 2013
• Action
• Fantasy
• Horror

Hansel (Jeremy Renner) has to take insulin shots because he has diabetes from eating too much candy. That is one of the ridiculous marvels of this script. What prompted Renner to take this role? If you guys haven't seen a falling star in awhile, watch this.

Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance

• 2009
• Action
• Animation
• Drama

If you like Japanime, then chances are you’ll most certainly know about this. As for people that are unaware, try out Evangelion 1.1 and see if it’s your cup of tea. It has all the typical elements that you would expect from a Japanime, albeit cheesy. However, there’s something fascinating about it that I can’t put my finger my on. Maybe you can.

Iron Man 3

• 2013
• Action
• Adventure
• Sci-fi

This doesn’t do anything new. More iron suits, new villains, and another psychological study of the gifted but troubled Tony Stark. But, that’s a good thing, because it’s still funny and explosively entertaining.

Red Dawn

• 2012
• Action

High-tech, military force invades a small, American town. They take it over and they take it over, good. Then they let these high school kids run around in broad daylight, steal their gear, and blow their shit up. You have to be blacked-out drunk to root for this.

The Expendables 2

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Thriller

I'd like a bazooka with a side of macho cheese.

Gangster Squad

• 2013
• Action
• Crime
• Drama

A sad waste on such a great cast. Everything looked the part but this lacked any tension. Instead of suspense, it’s replaced with gratuitous action and tacky one-liners. This is the director that brought you Zombieland, which is great but that type of vision won’t work for a movie like this and it shows.

Miami Connection

• 1987
• Action
• Crime

Miami Connection is proof that a movie God exists and he is an awesome God.

Heaven & Earth

• 1993
• Action
• Biography
• Drama

An emotionally flat movie with too much going on and not enough focus on a solid message. You’ll be dazzled by the beautiful shots but ultimately irritated by the acting and carelessness that Oliver Stone put into this film. A new edition to my “most hated” list.

Hit and Run

• 2012
• Action
• Drama
• Romance

It’s Dax Shepard’s movie about him trying to be a badass and protect his real life girlfriend in this speeding comedy that goes nowhere.

Django Unchained

• 2012
• Action
• Drama
• Western

A bloody and fun ride but am I alone in thinking that there seemed to be too much unnecessary dialogue towards the end? I love this movie but I couldn’t help compare it to Inglourious Basterds. The escalation of that movie consistently went up but this one leveled out for a long time. No matter, it’s still crazy-good!

PS: Christoph Waltz always talks like he’s about to show you a magic trick.

Premium Rush

• 2012
• Action
• Thriller

Is this supposed to be a serious thriller because there is human trafficking, gambling, organized crime, and violence.

OR

Is this some cornball, cat-and-mouse chase, sponsored by Google Maps.

Zero Dark Thirty

• 2012
• Action
• Drama
• History

Forget all the controversy surrounding this movie. This is a superb film, even though you know how it’s going to end. Oh, you don’t know? The bad guy gets shot in the face, ‘Merica!

Taken 2

• 2012
• Action
• Crime
• Thriller

I was yearning for some sassy character to scream at the wife, “Aw no! You got taken, too!?!”

I'm dumb.

Dredd 3D

• 2012
• Action
• Crime
• Sci-fi

A very stylish and wildly violent, action film. The graphics in slo-mo are terrifying, yet beautiful. This merciless shoot-em-up is nothing like the original and delivers on all your expectations to kick ass.

Resident Evil: Retribution

• 2012
• Action
• Horror
• Sci-fi

Watching these films is becoming a chore and it looks like there’s going to be more trash to take out; they’re making another one.

The Man with the Iron Fists

• 2012
• Action

The first half was really entertaining and things went downhilll so fast that I didn’t get time to yell obscenities before the credits rolled. It was like witnessing someone buy a Lamborghini and then airbrushing a gang mural on it.

The Cold Light of Day

• 2012
• Action
• Thriller

I have nothing against Henry Cavill but after this movie, he is easily one of the worst actors alive today. An irritating and enormously dumb movie.

The Bourne Legacy

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Mystery

Aaron Cross (Jeremy Renner) did a fine job as the action star but this does not have the intensely smart style of the previous Bourne films. The top secret group hunting Cross resemble a call center during peak hours. It’s not a good reboot, but it’s a good action movie.

Brave

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Animation

What do you want to talk about? Her awesome red hair, the touching story, the charming characters – what? It's a Pixar movie, of course it's great.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

• 2012
• Action
• Fantasy
• Horror

That's totally fine if the director doesn't want us to take this seriously but what stinks is that we can't even laugh at it. Just another vampire suck fest.

Skyfall

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Crime

This film is big but the action is not as over-the-top as your usual Bond movies. There is still a lot of great action, just don’t expect missile-firing cars doing barrel rolls off of ramps. In this case, that is a good thing. Sam Mendes nails it with a deeper 007 backstory while maintaining the intensity that would you expect.

Looper

• 2012
• Action
• Sci-fi
• Thriller

Another futuristic Sci-fi, set in a hustling metropolis, and it's about time travel. This might get ugly. I understand if you're apprehensive about this because of past films like Surrogates or Total Recall. Leave all that behind and go watch this. Story will always triumph over style or setting, and this story is good. Look forward to go see this so that you can look back and be glad that you did.

Snow White and the Huntsman

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Drama

Sometimes, we get that random urge to ‘watch Charlize Theron play an amazingly, evil queen in a badly-written story that looks like two-hour-long NIN music video.’ This is the movie to watch if that’s your thing.

Total Recall

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Sci-fi

The best thing about the original was its charmingly ridiculous style. Looks like the producers didn’t care for that and wanted a more serious and sexier reboot. Does it work? Nope. It’s not smart nor clever enough to take the original’s crown, but it does have some cool, high-tech, Sci-fi stuff if you just want to see rad shit.

The Last Circus

• 2011
• Action
• Comedy
• Drama

Watching a character descend into madness is usually intense but the tricky part is making that process relate to the viewer so that they feel like they’re going mad too. What happens in this movie comes out of left field and only ends up being a juvenile excuse to put a gun into the hands of a maniac clown.

The Amazing Spider-Man

• 2012
• Action
• Fantasy
• Thriller

If this reboot was bad, then the Spider-Man film franchise would be squashed, for a really long time. I’m sure they’re going to green light a sequel. For the next sequel, can we get Rush Limbaugh to play Kingpin, so Spidey can beat the brains out of him.

The Dark Knight Rises

• 2012
• Action
• Fantasy
• Thriller

The way Christopher Nolan wants to end this unintentional trilogy is much more than I expected. Nolan has said that he was not thinking about a third Batman, after The Dark Knight. He wanted us to savor retirement as much as Bruce Wayne does and the way he concluded it here is absolutely satisfying.

Abduction

• 2011
• Action
• Drama
• Mystery

What are you going to do after Twilight, Taylor Lautner? Cry about it? Actually don't. Stop crying.

Underworld: Awakening

• 2012
• Action
• Fantasy
• Horror

Kate Beckingsale returns in her skin-tight outfit to perform beautifully choreographed nonsense...I’m just going stop here. Everytime I try to say something different about the Underworld films, I fail. They are all the same. Kind of fun, kind of sexy, a lot of bad film.

Lockout

• 2012
• Action
• Sci-fi
• Thriller

“There’s only one man that can get her out [president’s daughter]. He’s the best there is. But he’s a loose canon.”

Guy Pearce never hits the brakes on his barrage of meat-headed, one-liners. I was naturally annoyed at first, but he kept at it so much that his jokes eventually won me over. I found myself laughing at full volume near the end. Screw the haters, here's a good example of a B-movie that isn’t trying to be anything else but silly and fun.

Wrath of the Titans

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy

Let’s not get deep about this, okay? There is some really sick CG and a shitty story.

Red Tails

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Drama

All of the cringing moments come from the dialogue and there's a whole lotta talking. This is an aerial combat movie but the script will not shut up long enough to let us take in the intensity of warring skies. Red Tails was done with little authenticity to the time period and in some cases, downright disrespectful to history. Shoot this one down.

The Raid: Redemption

• 2012
• Action
• Crime
• Thriller

The Raid: Redemption is very committed to kicking the ass off of everyone involved, especially you. It accomplishes this with the most creative levels of violence. All while showing us that there’s only one thing worse than trying to raid a building full of drug addicts. Trying to raid a building full of drug addicts that all know karate.

Haywire

• 2012
• Action
• Thriller

Gina Carano got quite the opportunity to star in this action film by Steven Soderbergh. She works with the likes of Michael Fassbender, Ewan McGregor, Antonio Banderas, Michael Douglas, and more. For a new gal on the screen, who's also an MMA fighter, she's not too bad. Although, I give most of that credit to the seasoned talent she's surrounded by.

As for the film, the style was natural and captivating. The action scenes are raw and they show us that you don’t need extreme zooms or explosive effects to create intensity. A surprisingly good action film with thoughtful direction, even though most people didn't like it.

Men in Black 3

• 2012
• Action
• Comedy
• Sci-fi

The first one was great and the second was utter crap. I had no expectations for this third sequel, especially when we find out that Will Smith is going back in time. A time travel story is very risky if not done right. With low expectations, I would have been content with just seeing those funny aliens again.

I did get my funny aliens and the human elements have also been dialed up. Smith and Brolin were fun to watch and they made a smart decision by not forcing a very old Tommy Lee Jones to play anything but a very old Tommy Lee Jones. Good fun!

One for the Money

• 2012
• Action
• Comedy
• Crime

Let's see what Katherine Heigl has to say.



I agree.
You deserve better than this, Heigl.

Prometheus

• 2012
• Action
• Horror
• Sci-fi

People are thinking that this is going to be a direct prequel to Alien. The producers say it’s not completely meant to be but don’t fret because this is absolutely fine as its own stand-alone film. Prometheus is gorgeous right out of the gates, and the escalation of tension is gripping.

The horror aspects are tasteful as there are no cheap scares or unnecessary gore, but don’t dismiss that as tamed either. The story can be deep as many people will be coming up with interesting theories about that universe’s idea of faith, imortality, and the Alien mythos. Yes, there are some loopholes and you can poke holes in the script but not enough for a thumb's down.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

• 2011
• Action
• Fantasy
• Thriller

Nicolas Cage gets riled up and warns his victims not to make him mad or else "The Rider" will come out. When The Rider finally comes out, all he does is walk around all slow, stare at people, and occasionally piss fire.

Redline

• 2009
• Action
• Animation
• Sci-fi

This is insanely ridiculous and you won't care who wins the race because you'll just enjoy watching it. The animation and visuals are outstandingly loony and that's all it's got going for it.

Contraband

• 2012
• Action
• Crime
• Drama

Mark Wahlberg returns to the tough-guy role in this subpar, action caper. The rest of the cast is good but the story isn't coherent enough for us to care about. I thought Wahlberg outgrew these types of roles. After watching Contraband, I know I am.

Safe House

• 2012
• Action
• Crime
• Mystery

Denzel Washington plays his usual badass self, which is always a pleasure to watch. Opposite to that is Ryan Reynolds. I know what you're thinking, but give Reynolds a chance on this one. He doesn't accelerate the movie by any means and he definitely does not ruin it either. It's a smart, action thriller, and a good rent.

John Carter

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy
• Sci-fi

I definitely got my nerd fix with all of the incredible CG. I'm just glad that it's "John Carter of Mars," rather than Earth. Stay there, John. I've had enough of you, thanks.

PS: Good job, Disney. You just figured out how to make a lot of blood suitable for PG-13 by replacing it with ink.

This Means War

• 2012
• Action
• Comedy
• Romance

A lot of women are going to like this because two hunks, Chris Pine and Tom Hardy, fight over a girl. It's like how we all know Twilight is crap but people love the hell out of it, based only on that premise. If you can suspend reality for two hours then you'll have some mild fun with McG's stupidly, action-packed, juvenile attempt at movie making.

Battleship

• 2012
• Action
• Sci-fi
• Thriller

I'm okay with mindless, Summer, blockbuster films but the dialogue in this is so bad that if those aliens spoke English, they would just pack up their spaceships and leave.

The Avengers

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Sci-fi

If you haven't heard by now how much fun this movie is or how it broke the $1 billion mark in its second week, it's all true and it delivers on the hype. Superhero movies have been great because directors and writers are able to instill drama into them that is believably human.

Joss Whedon does it on grand scale with multiple egos, and yet, every character is given ample screen time to voice their cause and resistance. Yearly 'top 10' films are usually reserved for hard-hitting dramas with highly emotional performances but I think The Avengers deserves a spot.

Smokin' Aces

• 2006
• Action
• Crime
• Drama

If you're one of those people that liked Shoot 'Em Up, then you'll like this one too. Otherwise, you'll find this dumb to mildly retarded. It's like the clone of a Taratino film that escaped the lab way too early.

Machine Gun Preacher

• 2011
• Action
• Biography
• Crime

Gerald Butler gave a lot into this performance but the film feels detached. If I had not known this was based on a true atrocity, I wouldn't have believed it. There are moments that are genuinely inspiring and uplifting so by no means is it a bad film. I'm just not giving this a strong recommendation.

21 Jump Street

• 2012
• Action
• Crime
• Comedy

This film is totally aware of its own stupidity, which eliminates any skepticism I had for it. I thought this was going to be stupid, pointless, and something I would rent for $1 many months after its release. Wrong. This is the funniest movie I've seen so far in 2012.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

• 2011
• Action
• Adventure
• Crime

Some critics are so upset that Holmes has turned into a crime-fighting, action ninja. Hollywood is going to give a face lift to every franchise they can get their hands on and we can't stop it. All we can do is hope that the movie is decent and fun, in which case, this was.

The Darkest Hour

• 2011
• Action
• Horror
• Sci-fi

This is hilariously bad and I love to hate it! The atmosphere in the beginning is upscale as it takes place in a high-end office and then in a sexy club with beautiful, young people. Towards the end, it turns into a homeless version of Ghostbusters.

Colombiana

• 2011
• Action
• Crime
• Drama

Hey, Zoe! Stop killing your enemies and making them mad, you crazy assassin girl. You're going to get all of your friends killed...gah, see? Now everyone is dead and you have nobody to practice your fake accent on.

Real Steel

• 2011
• Action
• Drama
• Sci-fi

Look at this shit. Just look at it!



*Spoiler* This fucking sucks.

The Hunger Games

• 2012
• Action
• Drama
• Sci-fi

It's rare to see great acting in a Sci-fi film and that's the main reason why I went to watch this. Jennifer Lawrence really pulls you into her dystopian world but I was treated with more than her good performance. I like Sci-fi, rad costumes, teenage violence, and this film delivers all that. As someone who did not read the books, I can say that this definitely lives up to the marketing hype and I am looking forward to the rest of the series.

The Adventures of Tintin

• 2011
• Animation
• Action
• Adventure

It's a shame that a lot of Americans don't know who TinTin is because this is worth the watch. I love the detailed art style of the characters and the graphics are amazing.

The Grey

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Drama

Going into this film, I was expecting a typical survival action thriller. To be fair, it is all those things, except typical. Sure, there are cheesy one-liners and guys being guys during a crisis but there's also more depth. The Grey has a poetic undertone of doing whatever it takes to survive or peacefully accepting death when there's no where else to go.

Tower Heist

• 2011
• Action
• Comedy
• Crime

A clumsy, dumb, and unfunny film with weak performances. When Eddie Murphy is the funniest character among the rest, that's got to tell you something.

Conan the Barbarian

• 2011
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy

At the top, there are bad movies, then there are offensively bad movies, then hilariously bad movies, then 100-feet of stacked shit, and beneath all that is Conan The Barbarian.

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

• 2011
• Action
• Adventure
• Thriller

State-of-the-art action movie that is always intense. If things aren't being blown up, be sure that they'll be talking about what to blow up next.

Warrior

• 2011
• Action
• Drama
• Sport

This is not the muscle-screaming, douchebag, MMA movie that everyone originally thought it was going to be, including myself. There are layers of stories that are gripping, relative to most people, and intensely moving. I highly recommend this as it is one of my top 10’s for 2011.

In Time

• 2011
• Action
• Sci-fi
• Thriller

Two hours in the film's universe is very valuable. Two hours in our universe is not a big deal...but I still want my two hours back for watching this. I wasn't expecting this to be good, I was just hoping for something half-ass decent, because I really like the concept. Huge let-down.