Your Highness

  • 2011
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Fantasy
Get Lord of the Rings high and throw in every Medieval-fantasy cliche you can think of and you got this movie. It is funny and there were some great moments but am I a jerk for expecting it to be way funnier? Surprisingly my stoner friends didn't find it that funny either. Regardless, I think it's a decent rental with or without a bong rip.
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Year One

  • 2009
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
This sucked. If they made a sequel, they should call it, "Year One: Part Two." I'm sure that title will be funnier than the movie.
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X-Men: First Class

  • 2011
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Drama
There were a few parts that made me laugh out loud and I don’t mean that in a good way. The developing relationships seemed rushed but have to be forgiving to that because there are so many characters. The most important relationship between Professor X and Magfassbender was the highlight of it all. This new reboot definitely outdoes the older ones.

Sidenote: Whoever decided to have the Nazi coin turn into the X-Men badge is a dumbhead.
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Wrath of the Titans

  • 2012
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Fantasy
Let’s not get deep about this, okay? There is some really sick CG and a shitty story.
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The Wizard of Oz

  • 1939
  • Adventure
  • Family
  • Fantasy
  • Music
Do I really need to say anything about this monumental movie?
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The Wizard

  • 1989
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Drama
  • Family
No child gave a turd about the actual film. We only wanted to see the new Super Mario Bros 3 game and call out other Nintendo games.

Hey Fred, you can’t get 50,000 points in Double Dragon after only playing for a few minutes. That’s also the NES version on an arcade machine, you stupid fart face.
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The Wiz

  • 1978
  • Adventure
  • Family
  • Fantasy
  • Music
No easy Michael Jackson jokes here. This movie is genuinely creepy and it scared the turd out of me when I was little.
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Willow

  • 1988
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Fantasy
  • Romance
Willow is stupid great. It was a good bridge for kids, at that time, to transition from cartoons into something more adult. If you don't agree then you're pigs. You're all pigs!
Willow General Kael
Skeletor was rad. Then this guy rode in.
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Wild Hogs

  • 2007
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
Why in the hell did I watch this? Shit.
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Where the Wild Things Are

  • 2009
  • Adventure
  • Drama
  • Family
  • Fantasy
Max is a spoiled little jerk. I ran away from home when I was a kid and there wasn't dinner waiting for me when the cops brought me back. I was beaten with a boat paddle.
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Weekend at Bernie's

  • 1989
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
You’re lucky, Bernie. If this had taken place post 2000, you would have penises drawn all over your face.
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The Way Back

  • 2010
  • Adventure
  • Drama
There isn't anything amazing about this script and there doesn't need to be. You become attached to all the characters as they work together to beat the odds, kind of like Alive. This is one of those films that I admire but hope to never see again.
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Waterworld

  • 1995
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
This movie was only cool to me because I was a stupid young kid. I recently saw it again and realized that I am now a stupid old adult.
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The Warriors

  • 1979
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Crime
Am I the only one that thinks Cyrus sounds like a malfunctioning robot when he says, “Can you dig it!” Anybody?
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War of the Worlds

  • 2005
  • Adventure
  • Drama
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
The Sci-fi nerd in me enjoyed this but the normal human being, that likes to see good movies in me did not.
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WALL?E

  • 2008
  • Animation
  • Adventure
  • Family
  • Romance
  • Sci-fi
Another smash hit from Pixar. This time with less dialogue and more emotion through action. If there is a list for “most adorable movies,” this would be second...next to Ponyo.
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Van Helsing

  • 2004
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Horror
  • Fantasy
  • Thriller
I think I just watched a crappy video game.
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Valhalla Rising

  • 2009
  • Action
  • Adventure
This isn't nearly what I was expecting. It's overly artsy but very dark and brooding at least. If you have seen the Russian, Sci-fi Stalker, this movie has a lot of that tone – lonely, powerful, and with beautiful shots. I just wish there was a bit more back story to our mute, anti-hero.
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Up

  • 2009
  • Animation
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Family
After I finally got around to seeing this, I have to say wow! I understand why it's so great now. First off, there's a death within the first 20 minutes and this film even shows blood! I have never seen blood in any of these cute Pixar pictures. So it sets off a slightly more mature environment from the get-go. As for the rest of it, it's one of the most touching films I have seen.
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True Grit

  • 2010
  • Adventure
  • Drama
  • Western
Who is this little Hailee Steinfeld girl? She plays a stubborn and sharp-tongued teenager who is seeking revenge for her father's death by hiring a tough (but drunk) U.S. Marshal to track down the killer.

2010 was a good year for movies and True Grit is one of those titles to backup that statement.
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Tropic Thunder

  • 2008
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • War
You won’t laugh hard but you’ll laugh. We all know that Tom Cruise is crazy and this shows him in his best element.
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TRON: Legacy

  • 2010
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
Like the first Tron, there is nothing really spectacular here except for the brain-melting visuals. Both films are similar with characters we don't care about. And both have amazing Sci-fi soundtracks. This isn't a good movie but it's an accurate sequel.
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TRON

  • 1982
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
I love this bad movie so much.
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The Triplets of Belleville

  • 2003
  • Animation
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Music
This is a wonderful and original French cartoon. Not too much dialogue, just straight-forward story and a beautiful art style. Highly recommended but you'll need a bit of patience and an open-mind to appreciate this one.
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The Transformers: The Movie

  • 1986
  • Animation
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
Coming up in a poor family, I watched this movie once a day for the entire summer because that's all we had. It's safe to say that I've seen this movie close to 30 times.
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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

  • 2009
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
[NERD MODE ACTIVATED]
When did the Decepticons figure out how to make human cyborgs? There is a college girl that has a metal tail coming out of her butt and a robot tongue. If they had this technology, the Decepticons could easily win the war with deception (zing), and there would be no Autobots. No Autobots would mean no more Transformers movies.
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Transformers: Dark of the Moon

  • 2011
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
Michael Bay’s Transformers movies will always be liked by the masses and disliked by the critics. People will keep on paying to see stuff explode, no matter how stupid it is. I’m really tired of this franchise and I’m glad I waited for the $1 rental because that’s all it’s worth.
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Toy Story 3

  • 2010
  • Animation
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Family
  • Fantasy
It was a long time in the making but totally worth it. A touching and great conclusion that’s nothing short of excellent.
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Toy Story 2

  • 1999
  • Animation
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Family
  • Fantasy
I wasn’t crazy about this one but, hey, it’s Toy Story. Impossible to dislike.
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Toy Story

  • 1995
  • Animation
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Family
  • Fantasy
Buzz Lightyear might be the only role I like Tim Allen in.

Update 8/1/2012:Still true.
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Total Recall

  • 1990
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
Some movies are like caviar, while others are like a greasy cheeseburgers. Total Recall adds bacon on top of your cheeseburger. What am I saying, I’ve never had caviar before but I’m sure it tastes nothing like a delicious cheeseburger.
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Total Recall

  • 2012
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
The best thing about the original was its charmingly ridiculous style. Looks like the producers didn’t care for that and wanted a more serious and sexier reboot. Does it work? Nope. It’s not smart nor clever enough to take the original’s crown, but it does have some cool, high-tech, Sci-fi stuff if you just want to see rad shit.
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TMNT

  • 2007
  • Animation
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Drama
  • Fantasy
It’s official, Turtle Power is dead. It has been dead for a long time. Fans, please let go.
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Titan A.E.

  • 2000
  • Animation
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
This is a great animated movie. There’s an environmental undertone and a good story here, even though nobody knew about it and it got low reviews.
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The Time Machine

  • 2002
  • Sci-fi
  • Adventure
  • Action
Really cool effects, pretty bad movie.
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The Three Musketeers

  • 1993
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Family
  • History
  • Romance
Disney hires a bunch of hunks to star in this rendition of The Three Musketeers story.
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Three Amigos

  • 1986
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Western
I've seen this a few times as a kid but I can't seem to remember anything specific about it. It must have sucked.
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Thor

  • 2011
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Drama
Cheesy at times but fun all the time! Many people (including me) thought this was going to be bad when it was first announced. It's tough to make anything this fantastical – enjoyable. Yet, I think they pulled it off well. Girls, go watch it because of Chris Hemsworth. Guys, go watch it because you're a guy.
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Thelma & Louise

  • 1991
  • Adventure
  • Crime
  • Drama
  • Thriller
Women be cah-raaaaazy!
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Terminator Salvation

  • 2009
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
The actors were fine but the directing and story sequence was upsetting. Some poop mouth named McG directed it. Before this, he did that braindead film Charlie’s Angels, and as if he couldn’t punish the audience even more, he made a sequel. It’s like a piece of poop taking a shit. After all that, some smart person decided it would be a fun idea to give this guy money to make the most important storyline in the Terminator franchise.
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Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

  • 2003
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
Arnold is old, we got a director from left field, and there's nothing wrong with a girl terminator but that didn't turn out well. Crappy movie.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

  • 1991
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Family
  • Sci-fi
Turtle power and Vanilla Ice's career died after this movie.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

  • 1990
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Crime
  • Drama
  • Family
  • Sci-fi
TURTLE POWEEEER! My siblings and I were so pumped when this film came out.
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Team America: World Police

  • 2004
  • Animation
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
(Bonus clip coming soon)
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Tarzan

  • 1999
  • Animation
  • Adventure
  • Drama
  • Family
This was the last film in Disney's golden era.
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Tales of the Black Freighter

  • 2009
  • Animation
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Horror
A bonus cartoon about one of the sister stories in the Watchmen universe. It's a maddening story with gore and blood, definitely not for kids. Gerard Butler also voices the lead role.
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Sword of the Stranger

  • 2007
  • Animation
  • Action
  • Adventure
This is a great animated movie! It has a more realistic art direction and a warm story. One of the proofs in this film's quality is in the last battle scene.
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The Sword in the Stone

  • 1963
  • Animation
  • Adventure
  • Family
  • Fantasy
Sure this isn't anything compared to its bigger family members like Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, but old school Disney always delivers.
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The Sword and the Sorcerer

  • 1982
  • Action
  • Fantasy
  • Adventure
Under the care of my mother, I obviously wasn't able to watch horror movies or see nudity. Parents wouldn't expect a movie like this to contain those things but it does. This movie scared the crap out of me but I got to see boobies, so, hurray!
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Superman: Doomsday

  • 2007
  • Animation
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Drama
Superman gets owned by Doomsday. Most comic nerds know the story, now they can see it in animated action form.
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Superman Returns

  • 2006
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
Am I the only sonavabitch that kind of liked this? I think I am. I must have been really hungover.
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Superman III

  • 1983
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
I find the cover art on this hilarious. It's so ironic.
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Superman II

  • 1980
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Romance
  • Sci-fi
General Zod rules!
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Superman

  • 1978
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
The first movie on one of DC Comic's biggest superhero.
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Super Mario Bros.

  • 1993
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Comedy
  • Family
  • Fantasy
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
"This Ain't No Game"
It ain't no movie, either.
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Sunshine

  • 2007
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
I liked this movie! They really drive home the power of the sun and you can't help but to feel even more insignificant towards it than you already do. This is one of the few Sci-Fi movies that truly made me feel helpless in the setting of space.
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Sucker Punch

  • 2011
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Fantasy
Dear Zack Snyder,
I am a nerd and I love samurais, robots, zombies, dragons, and bullet-firing bitches with blades. You have managed to make me hate all of those things in the course of two hours with your movie, "Suck Punch."

PS: Try not to masturbate while playing video games when you're thinking about your next movie.
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Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li

  • 2009
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
Think about the most depressing moment in your life. Now, imagine during that moment you accidentally slipped on a pile of dog poop that sends you hurdling face-first onto a bigger pile of shit. As you get up to wipe the crap out of your eyes, you see all your friends, family, and even exes, standing around you – laughing at you.

That moment is heavenly compared to watching this movie.
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Street Fighter

  • 1994
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
The most embarassing video-game-movie adaptation, ever.
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Steamboy

  • 2004
  • Animation
  • Action
  • Adventure
  • Sci-fi
  • Thriller
Another Anime that made waves in Japan, which of course means that it would be on the American radar. Unfortunately, I didn't enjoy as much as the rest of the world did. Besides the stellar animation, I didn't find this film that compelling and the story was bland.
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