Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

• 2013
• Action
• Fantasy
• Horror

Hansel (Jeremy Renner) has to take insulin shots because he has diabetes from eating too much candy. That is one of the ridiculous marvels of this script. What prompted Renner to take this role? If you guys haven't seen a falling star in awhile, watch this.

Oz the Great and Powerful

• 2013
• Adventure
• Family
• Fantasy

I liked the story and the beautiful spectacle of Oz. James Franco is hard to hate-on but I wanted to punch all of his teeth every time he showed them. The build-up to the plot’s main villain was a let-down. A lot of the annoyances has to be blamed on Sam Raimi. Pushing all the negativity aside, I did enjoy the film.

Livid

• 2011
• Fantasy
• Horror

It looks like your typical haunted house horror in the beginning but as the story deepens, it unravels a creepy and an imaginatively maddening plot. Definitely unique!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

• 2012
• Adventure
• Fantasy

All the beautiful and fantastical aspects of this lore is there, as you would expect. Even though it was very slow and nearly pointless in the beginning, it was a lot of fun. It would have been better to see more turmoil when these dwarves are in tight situations. Looking forward to the next one.

Beasts of the Southern Wild

• 2012
• Drama
• Fantasy

It feels like an epic adventure spanning across fantastical continents even though we clearly see it takes place in the swamplands. An imaginative picture about bayou fables, survival, and innocence. The best aspect here is that it doesn’t force any agenda on you, it’s just great film making.

Ruby Sparks

• 2012
• Comedy
• Fantasy
• Romance

Ruby’s existence might not be real but this is one of the most authentic movies I’ve seen in a while. The range of emotions that the script supplies is many and the performances drive them all home. Not only does Zoe Kazan (Ruby) deliver an absolutely sweet character but she also wrote this. Hat’s off!

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

• 2012
• Action
• Fantasy
• Horror

That's totally fine if the director doesn't want us to take this seriously but what stinks is that we can't even laugh at it. Just another vampire suck fest.

The Amazing Spider-Man

• 2012
• Action
• Fantasy
• Thriller

If this reboot was bad, then the Spider-Man film franchise would be squashed, for a really long time. I’m sure they’re going to green light a sequel. For the next sequel, can we get Rush Limbaugh to play Kingpin, so Spidey can beat the brains out of him.

The Dark Knight Rises

• 2012
• Action
• Fantasy
• Thriller

The way Christopher Nolan wants to end this unintentional trilogy is much more than I expected. Nolan has said that he was not thinking about a third Batman, after The Dark Knight. He wanted us to savor retirement as much as Bruce Wayne does and the way he concluded it here is absolutely satisfying.

Ted

• 2012
• Comedy
• Fantasy

It’s so much easier to get away with gross, rude, and raunchy humor when it’s coming from a teddy bear, which I enjoyed all of. One of the top five comedies of 2012.

Underworld: Awakening

• 2012
• Action
• Fantasy
• Horror

Kate Beckingsale returns in her skin-tight outfit to perform beautifully choreographed nonsense...I’m just going stop here. Everytime I try to say something different about the Underworld films, I fail. They are all the same. Kind of fun, kind of sexy, a lot of bad film.

Wrath of the Titans

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy

Let’s not get deep about this, okay? There is some really sick CG and a shitty story.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance

• 2011
• Action
• Fantasy
• Thriller

Nicolas Cage gets riled up and warns his victims not to make him mad or else "The Rider" will come out. When The Rider finally comes out, all he does is walk around all slow, stare at people, and occasionally piss fire.

John Carter

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy
• Sci-fi

I definitely got my nerd fix with all of the incredible CG. I'm just glad that it's "John Carter of Mars," rather than Earth. Stay there, John. I've had enough of you, thanks.

PS: Good job, Disney. You just figured out how to make a lot of blood suitable for PG-13 by replacing it with ink.

Dark Shadows

• 2012
• Comedy
• Fantasy

There are so many scenes that do not matter and all of the funny parts are in the trailer. Depp creates a good relationship with the audience but not with the rest of the cast. Dark Shadows reminds us that creativity gets worse with age for some people. And by "some people," I mean Tim Burton.

The Cabin in the Woods

• 2012
• Fantasy
• Horror
• Sci-fi
• Thriller

Like comedy? You'll laugh at this. If you like horror, you'll love this. If you do not like horror, you will feel safe. If you're into Sci-fi, that's in here too. If you're a movie snob, you'll appreciate the well-written script. If silly, low-brow cinema is more your thing, then you'll have fun. The Cabin in the Woods is a ridiculous masterpiece!

For those curious. The less you know, the better. Just go watch it.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

• 2011
• Adventure
• Drama
• Fantasy

I thought Harry was supposed to die. How and why did he come back in the end? I was really paying attention and wondered if it was the whore's crutch that saved him. I'm so confused, I don't even...

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

• 2010
• Adventure
• Drama
• Fantasy

Okay, so Harry and his pasty friends are trying to find artifacts to stop a noseless wizard. That, I can follow. I guess they just do that for two hours.

Conan the Barbarian

• 2011
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy

At the top, there are bad movies, then there are offensively bad movies, then hilariously bad movies, then 100-feet of stacked shit, and beneath all that is Conan The Barbarian.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

• 2011
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy

You know they're bad movies. Just keep paying to go see them. Just keep on...

Immortals

• 2011
• Action
• Drama
• Fantasy

The Gods chose this guy named Feces to be in this movie and hopefully re-spark the 300 fever in you, again. If you still somehow have a boner for 300, then go ahead and watch this movie, you'll be pumped! On the surface, there are awesome things to look at, like the amazing costumes and the visual effects but beneath all that – it's juvenile and dumb.

Midnight in Paris

• 2011
• Comedy
• Fantasy
• Romance

At midnight, in Paris, something happens to Owen Wilson. Time becomes magical but in an intellectual and historical way. There are a lot of characters and they're all amusingly funny, so this is easy to enjoy.

Midnight in Paris could have easily been a snobby film but Woody Allen pulls it off in a way that should be suitable for a ranged crowd. This film can fall under a lot of genres but I just have one thing to say about it. It's delightful.

Green Lantern

• 2011
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy
• Sci-fi

I love Sci-fi, aliens, and all that nerdiness but man, this film is ridiculous. Movies like X-Men: First Class, Thor, or Iron Man, give nerds a better reputation. Green Lantern just reminds everyone how embarrassing being a nerd can be.

Like other superhero movies, you will have some fun with this. It's not boring at all, it's just very average. The only thing that was above average was Sinestro, played by Mark Strong.

Bunraku

• 2010
• Action
• Drama
• Fantasy

Josh Hartnett, Woody Harrelson, Ron Perlman, and Demi Moore is in this. Sounds cool doesn't it? It is kind of fun if you're not expecting a serious film because it is far from that. The visuals look like the director copied scenes directly from a comic book. Only Japanese Anime fanatics will love this. I did not.

Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole

• 2010
• Animation
• Adventure
• Fantasy

This one is more for the kiddies than the adults but it's a good watch. The visuals are really detailed but it's got your typical Zack Snyder, Matrix-slow-mo action if you're not sick of that yet.

Your Highness

• 2011
• Adventure
• Comedy
• Fantasy

Get Lord of the Rings high and throw in every Medieval-fantasy cliche you can think of and you got this movie. It is funny and there were some great moments but am I a jerk for expecting it to be way funnier? Surprisingly my stoner friends didn't find it that funny either. Regardless, I think it's a decent rental with or without a bong rip.

Sucker Punch

• 2011
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy

Dear Zack Snyder,
I am a nerd and I love samurais, robots, zombies, dragons, and bullet-firing bitches with blades. You have managed to make me hate all of those things in the course of two hours with your movie, "Suck Punch."

PS: Try not to masturbate while playing video games when you're thinking about your next movie.

Red Riding Hood

• 2011
• Fantasy
• Horror
• Mystery
• Romance

The only thing that kept me alive during this movie is watching Gary Oldman scream at poor people. Besides that, this is a god-awful, two-hour cologne commercial.

Season of the Witch

• 2011
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy

Hey everyone, it's another Nicolas Cage movie with magic in it, so what can you expect? The same thing from all his other movies with magic in it; a lot of shit with very little amounts of fun and horrible story-telling.

Drive Angry

• 2011
• Action
• Fantasy
• Thriller

Watch angry; that's what you'll be doing with this film. It's not even brainless fun, it just sucks. This is sure to be one of the worst movies of 2011.

Insidious

• 2011
• Fantasy
• Horror
• Thriller

This is a great horror flick but I think it could have been even greater if they had a bigger budget. My favorite aspect is that the family actually moved when they thought their house was haunted – too bad that didn't fix their problems! I enjoyed the hell out of this.

The Warrior's Way

• 2010
• Action
• Fantasy
• Western

This is worse than a piece of shit, it’s a whole shit.

Hereafter

• 2010
• Drama
• Fantasy

Hey everyone, there's a tidal wave coming right at us...let's fucking stare at it!

I can't believe the purpose of this movie unveiled itself at the very ass-end. One of my least favorite Clint Eastwood films.

Let Me In

• 2010
• Drama
• Fantasy
• Horror

I wasn't too happy that they were remaking this. Then I saw it and realized it wasn't just a remake but almost a re-shoot. It's hard to hate on this because they did everything nearly identical to the original film Let the Right One In. Sure, it's not as good as that one but it's still good.

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

• 2010
• Action
• Adventure
• Comedy
• Fantasy

Hadoken! Hadoken! Hadoken!

Ghoulies

• 1985
• Comedy
• Fantasy
• Horror

If party people want to play poker or a board game, let them for fuck's sake! Don't listen to that creepy nerd that wants to do Satanic rituals.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

• 2010
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy
• Romance

By no means is this a 'must-see', but it definitely is much more underrated than what everyone (including me) thought. It actually ties in well with the game franchise, magnifying it rather than insulting it. There isn't a deep story but it's well-told and it's a fun movie. Great rental for popcorn movie night.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

• 2010
• Action
• Adventure
• Comedy
• Fantasy

If you liked Kick-Ass then you will love this.

I had a blast with this. There was a ton of video game references and funny lines. Although the story is incredibly linear, I find it nice for a change. No twisted plots and no surprises – just a dude trying to win a girl's heart.

TiMER

• 2009
• Comedy
• Drama
• Fantasy
• Romance

I can’t hate this movie but I can’t love it either. The thing that kept me infatuated was the concept. It’s about a timer that counts down to when you’re going meet your true love and it is 100% accurate. Unfortunately, for our leading lady, her timer is blank and then all sorts of typical romcom elements come into play. I’m not totally confident to recommend this one, you’ll just have to the trailer and see if it’s worth your time.

Toy Story 3

• 2010
• Animation
• Adventure
• Comedy
• Family
• Fantasy

It was a long time in the making but totally worth it. A touching and great conclusion that’s nothing short of excellent.

Mr. Nobody

• 2009
• Drama
• Fantasy
• Romance
• Sci-fi

Mr. Nobody is a very cerebral film. It will make you wonder about the universe all the while showing you beautiful scenes of alternate love. I can't say that I fully understood it, but I like it enough.

Little Monsters

• 1989
• Comedy
• Adventure
• Family
• Fantasy

Fred Savage discovers a monster-friend (Howie Mandel) under his bed. You sure that's not your Uncle McTouchy, Fred?

Legion

• 2010
• Action
• Fantasy
• Thriller

Fuck this.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

• 2010
• Adventure
• Fantasy

*Yawn, fart, yawn, snore, fart, yawn*

*noises I made through out the whole movie.

Alice in Wonderland

• 2010
• Adventure
• Family
• Fantasy

Thanks for ruining one of my all-time favorite stories, ever, Tim Burton. You asshole.

The only redeeming quality about this movie are the queens.

Where the Wild Things Are

• 2009
• Adventure
• Drama
• Family
• Fantasy

Max is a spoiled little jerk. I ran away from home when I was a kid and there wasn't dinner waiting for me when the cops brought me back. I was beaten with a boat paddle.

Clash of the Titans

• 2010
• Action
• Adventure
• Drama
• Fantasy

Release the crappin'!

DuckTales: The Movie - Treasure of the Lost Lamp

• 1990
• Animation
• Adventure
• Comedy
• Family
• Fantasy

I loved Ducktales when I was a kid and this movie was awesome.

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

• 2009
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy
• Thriller

Mildly enjoyable movie. I really dig the art direction and the yuppy kids weren't all too annoying.

The Company of Wolves

• 1984
• Horror
• Fantasy

My mother took me to go see this in theaters when I was a kid. She thought this was more fantasy than it was horror because it's based off of the Little Red Riding Hood story and Angela Lansbury is in it. She was so wrong. This movie scared every turd out of me. I had the most wicked nightmares for a month.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

• 2009
• Adventure
• Fantasy
• Mystery

Is this a great movie? No. Is it awful? No. I know this movie can be really confusing with a lot of dead weight and pointless twists. Most of the reasons is because, sadly, Heath Ledger died halfway through filming so they had to fill in a lot of holes. They filled those holes with cheap and overly-used graphics, which is cool on the surface but ultimately tarnished the film. It's not a bad film because it's bad, it's just unfortunate what happened behind off-camera.

The Lovely Bones

• 2009
• Crime
• Drama
• Fantasy
• Thriller
• Horror

Think about the movie What Dreams May Come and throw in a murder (don't worry, I'm not spoiling anything). The trailer should give you a really good idea of what the movie is about. I really liked the fantastical visuals but the story could be hard to stomach if you're a parent.

Mortal Kombat

• 1995
• Action
• Adventure
• Fantasy
• Sci-fi
• Thriller

Moooooooooortal Kooooombat!

Stranger Than Fiction

• 2006
• Comedy
• Drama
• Fantasy
• Romance

I really enjoyed this film. I know that Will Ferrell is hot stuff at this time but there could have been many others that would have done a better job.

Elf

• 2003
• Comedy
• Family
• Fantasy

This was a fun movie for kids. Too bad it wasn't that fun for adults.

Queen of the Damned

• 2002
• Horror
• Music
• Fantasy

The once-awesome vampire, Lestat, from Interview with the Vampire becomes a rock star and wakes up the Queen of The Damned with his music. What an atrocious back step from the previous film.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

• 2009
• Action
• Adventure
• Family
• Fantasy
• Mystery
• Romance

These kids are running around taking "potions", which I think is just street lingo for drugs! The red-headed kid takes a "potion" that allows him to kick ass at an aerial rugby game (steroids!). Then he takes another "potion" that puts him into a loving and mesmerized state (E!).

Goemon

• 2009
• Action
• Drama
• Fantasy

Computer graphics overkill, extremely stylish costumes, ninjas, blood, people flying from rooftops; all that wouldn't be complete without a horrible story. I'm not expecting Shawshank Redemption when watching these types of films but c'mon, can the writers just try a little harder?

It's hilarious to see the hero fail at saving people from easy circumstances and then laying waste to 1000's of bad guys, literally. He single-handedly takes out three whole armies.

Who writes this stuff? 15-year old geeks that just discovered alcohol?

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

• 2009
• Comedy
• Fantasy
• Romance

At least it didn't have an ending where the guy chases the girl and apologizes for screwing up, while in a public setting with all eyes on them. He then confesses his love to her, they bump faces, and everybody starts clapping. I mean, a film like this really pushes that type of ending so I was surprised when it didn't go there.

Spawn

• 1997
• Thriller
• Action
• Fantasy
• Horror

My friends and I bought the Spawn comics when we were young and then this movie came out. We saw it and thought it was rad. Then after leaving the movie theater, we looked at each other in embarrassment, thinking, "I can't believe I thought that was rad."