The Hangover Part III

• 2013
• Comedy

The first one set a high standard, the second wasn’t as great but the vulgarity saved it. This one isn’t just your regular let-down, this was a terrible comedy.

Upstream Color

• 2013
• Drama
• Sci-fi

Shot like an intense, two-hour, perfume commercial. Very heady, intellectually-rich, and ethereal. I had to look online for other meanings and they were all fascinating. This is exactly what you would expect from the guy that made Primer.

The Sessions

• 2012
• Comedy
• Drama
• Romance

A moving film about a disabled poet who spends his life lying down, unable to move anything but his head. He meets a "sex surrogate" (a smart prostitute) to experience the love-makings of a woman. Highly enjoyable movie!

Wave Twisters

• 2001
• Adventure
• Animation
• Music

We saw this film and then QBert performed with D-Styles on stage. Then the crowd sang happy birthday to QBert’s mom. T'was a rad night.

Mama

• 2013
• Horror

One of the things I enjoy about a ghost movie is backstory and this one let’s it all out. Sure, it has a lot of horror stereotypes but you won’t catch yourself complaining too much. It follows through with the story enough for you to forgive the cliches and silly CGI.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

• 2013
• Action
• Fantasy
• Horror

Hansel (Jeremy Renner) has to take insulin shots because he has diabetes from eating too much candy. That is one of the ridiculous marvels of this script. What prompted Renner to take this role? If you guys haven't seen a falling star in awhile, watch this.

Evangelion: 2.0 You Can (Not) Advance

• 2009
• Action
• Animation
• Drama

If you like Japanime, then chances are you’ll most certainly know about this. As for people that are unaware, try out Evangelion 1.1 and see if it’s your cup of tea. It has all the typical elements that you would expect from a Japanime, albeit cheesy. However, there’s something fascinating about it that I can’t put my finger my on. Maybe you can.

Ed Gein

• 2000
• Biography
• Crime
• Drama

A boring, uneventful, badly-performed, low-budget film about a serial killer who decorates his house with the skin of his victims.

Oz the Great and Powerful

• 2013
• Adventure
• Family
• Fantasy

I liked the story and the beautiful spectacle of Oz. James Franco is hard to hate-on but I wanted to punch all of his teeth every time he showed them. The build-up to the plot’s main villain was a let-down. A lot of the annoyances has to be blamed on Sam Raimi. Pushing all the negativity aside, I did enjoy the film.

The Place Beyond the Pines

• 2013
• Crime
• Drama

This is the most impactful and heart-breaking drama I have seen so far in 2013. And, ladies, you get a 2-for-1 deal with Gosling and Cooper so everyone can, and should see this hidden gem of a film. Actually, you must see this.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

• 2013
• Comedy

After seeing the cake joke at the beginning, I had a feeling that this comedy wasn’t going to be very funny. Behold, it isn’t! Most of the jokes are drawn out, like the cake. The biggest magic trick here is Steve Carell’s "character development". He turns from one person into another, just like that.

Breaking the Taboo

• 2012
• Documentary

Interesting documentary about how Americans and the rest of the world sees drug addiction and how they deal with it. Lots of information and high profile interviews can be found here, whether you see cupcakes as a vice or shoot up on a regular basis.

The Lords of Salem

• 2013
• Horror
• Thriller

You can tell this is Rob Zombie’s pet project. From all the nightmarish visuals, desecration of the church, down to his wife being in the lead role. This movie doesn’t mean or do anything for the viewer except show off some very evil aesthetics.

Iron Man 3

• 2013
• Action
• Adventure
• Sci-fi

This doesn’t do anything new. More iron suits, new villains, and another psychological study of the gifted but troubled Tony Stark. But, that’s a good thing, because it’s still funny and explosively entertaining.

Movie 43

• 2013
• Comedy

The worst comedy I’ve ever seen is Underground Comedy Movie, and this one is just like that except with bigger actors.

The Secret World of Arrietty

• 2012
• Adventure
• Animation
• Family

Another charmingly-beautiful film from Studio Ghibli. The only difference here is how innocent it is compared to others. Even Ponyo had a bit more of a mature edge to it.

Detropia

• 2012
• Documentary

I have a special place in my heart for Detroit but this is boring.

Silent Hill: Revelation

• 2012
• Horror
• Mystery
• Thriller

All this shit flick does is throw blood, body parts, and blades at you. This is not a movie, it’s a visual stress test and you would be smart not to take it.

The Invisible War

• 2012
• Crime
• Documentary

“This is going to be a real downer, isn’t it?” Yes it is, but it's a big injustice in America's military system that should not be swept under the rug.

Antiviral

• 2012
• Horror
• Sci-fi
• Thriller

This is smart but not clever-smart – it’s weird-smart. It’s also perverted but not sexually. The film is a creative, yet a grotesque rendition of our twisted obsession with celebrities. It's kind of hard to watch and even harder to hold down. I like it.

The ABCs of Death

• 2012
• Horror

There's a lot more ridiculous shorts in here than good ones. Some of these borderline asinine-stupid and those ones come from the Japanese, go figure. My favorite one was the dog fight.

Red Dawn

• 2012
• Action

High-tech, military force invades a small, American town. They take it over and they take it over, good. Then they let these high school kids run around in broad daylight, steal their gear, and blow their shit up. You have to be blacked-out drunk to root for this.

Identity Thief

• 2013
• Comedy
• Crime

It’s the kind of comedy that does something funny once and then does it again, hoping you’ll laugh. After it repeatedly does it, you just get bored.

Room 237

• 2012
• Documentary

There are some incredibly, fascinating theories here, which is mind-blowing. However, there are some others that are just flat-out dumb, and probably made-up because of bias delusion – seeing what we want to see once we’re convinced that this is the message Kubrick is trying to tell us. It’s a great documentary but one that should be taken with a grain of salt.

The Impossible

• 2012
• Drama
• History
• Thriller

You have a right to think that this is a privileged family’s vacation gone wrong and how every Thai person in the film is overly nice to them because of their status. As someone who lived in Thailand, I can see the local’s kindness as something far from fiction. This is an accurate rendition of the Thai people, not Hollywood’s sensationalized attempt to pull at your heart strings.

It’s a tragic disaster that puts you into its belly and shows you the heart-breaking example of displacement in a time of numbing chaos.

West of Memphis

• 2012
• Documentary

Just watch the trailer and see how the American judicial system completely failed these three kids. One of the most enthralling documentaries that I have seen!

Amour

• 2012
• Drama
• Romance

This one is a real downer. However, it’s shot beautifully and written brilliantly. The meanings might not be obvious on the first viewing but a second viewing could be overwhelmingly sad. I’d advise to read up on forum discussions, instead.

Evidence

• 2011
• Horror

Not a home run horror but the last 30 minutes of this film is bananas!

Journey from the Fall

• 2006
• Drama

A raw and honest look at the boat people of Vietnam and how that war affected the country’s aftermath. The first half is good but the second half doesn’t live up. However, this is far better than Oliver Stone’s big budget Heaven & Earth.

The Expendables 2

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Thriller

I'd like a bazooka with a side of macho cheese.

Chained

• 2012
• Horror
• Thriller

This is highly disturbing, claustrophobic, and dark as hell. However, it is a good piece of work. All of the bloody scenes were necessary, unlike lesser horrors that use it for shock. I was genuinely frightened and felt quite hopeless for the boy’s outcome.

Gangster Squad

• 2013
• Action
• Crime
• Drama

A sad waste on such a great cast. Everything looked the part but this lacked any tension. Instead of suspense, it’s replaced with gratuitous action and tacky one-liners. This is the director that brought you Zombieland, which is great but that type of vision won’t work for a movie like this and it shows.

Miami Connection

• 1987
• Action
• Crime

Miami Connection is proof that a movie God exists and he is an awesome God.

Rust and Bone

• 2012
• Drama
• Romance

The most random relationship of 2012’s romantic dramas. As far apart as these two are, the script makes them compatible, in some magical way. There were quite a few events outside of the relationship that seemed unnecessary, but it's a good film, just not one that I can strongly recommend.

Reformat the Planet

• 2008
• Documentary

I like me some chiptunes here and there but this is thee nerdiest thing I’ve ever seen. It makes LARPers look like studs.

The Campaign

• 2012
• Comedy

There is no gray area for this. Love it or hate it.

Heaven & Earth

• 1993
• Action
• Biography
• Drama

An emotionally flat movie with too much going on and not enough focus on a solid message. You’ll be dazzled by the beautiful shots but ultimately irritated by the acting and carelessness that Oliver Stone put into this film. A new edition to my “most hated” list.

The Master

• 2012
• Drama

Another brilliantly-cryptic film by Paul Thomas Anderson. Joaquin Phoenix puts on a performance of a lifetime. I strongly feel he deserves the Oscar over Daniel Day Lewis’ Lincoln. There’s a lot that can be taken away from this film.

The Imposter

• 2012
• Biography
• Documentary

This is a wild documentary about identity theft that was taken to an outrageous level. Everyone in here is so committed to their own personal beliefs that you’re not sure who to trust by the end of the film. Absolutely unforgettable.

Livid

• 2011
• Fantasy
• Horror

It looks like your typical haunted house horror in the beginning but as the story deepens, it unravels a creepy and an imaginatively maddening plot. Definitely unique!

Killing Them Softly

• 2012
• Crime
• Drama
• Thriller

The most business-minded crime drama I have seen. The audience is going to be on the fence about this one as it’s not so much a wild shoot-em-up and it’s not as exciting as Goodfellas. I don’t love this film but I was definitely taken by it and that stayed with me for a while.

Seven Psychopaths

• 2012
• Comedy
• Crime

I’m going to say some words; violent, bloody, poetic, funny, charming. It’s rare to put those together into a movie and make it good. Well, it happened. I saw it happen and so should you.

Chloe

• 2009
• Drama
• Mystery
• Thriller

It starts off as a psychological drama but things fall apart. However, none of the actors drop their performances and for that, it’s able to carry you to the end with no screaming complaints.

The Possession

• 2012
• Horror
• Thriller

Only difference with this mundane horror is that the demon isn’t Christian, it’s Jewish. Holy crap, I have nothing remotely interesting to say about this.

Hit and Run

• 2012
• Action
• Drama
• Romance

It’s Dax Shepard’s movie about him trying to be a badass and protect his real life girlfriend in this speeding comedy that goes nowhere.

Hitchcock

• 2012
• Biography
• Drama

The acting is great, the cast is great, and it’s about one of my heros, Alfred Hitchcock. It’s impossible for me to say anything bad about this, even if there was something bad about this.

Silver Linings Playbook

• 2012
• Comedy
• Drama
• Romance

This is one incredibly neurotic love story, and I enjoyed every bit of it. If you want to view this as a romcom, or some sort of life-affirming drama, it will work as both. The only problem I have with this film is that I can’t figure out what’s better. Jennifer Lawrence’s stellar performance or David O. Russell’s superb directing.

Searching for Sugar Man

• 2012
• Biography
• Documentary
• Music

For a documentary, this was shot very well and had an amazing story that is stranger than fiction. Movie stuff aside, I am now a fan of Sixto Rodriguez. He is a brilliant songwriter and musical poet that none of us in The States knew about.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

• 2012
• Drama
• Romance

This is one of the most unrealistic high school dramas I have ever seen. This is also one of the best high school dramas I have ever seen. I actually learned something from this. Then came one line towards the end that I didn’t understand. I looked it up and was moved. I good and deep film, yet, painful.

Django Unchained

• 2012
• Action
• Drama
• Western

A bloody and fun ride but am I alone in thinking that there seemed to be too much unnecessary dialogue towards the end? I love this movie but I couldn’t help compare it to Inglourious Basterds. The escalation of that movie consistently went up but this one leveled out for a long time. No matter, it’s still crazy-good!

PS: Christoph Waltz always talks like he’s about to show you a magic trick.

Les Miserables

• 2012
• Drama
• Music
• Romance

The most beautifully-shot film of 2012 and probably the most moving. Not going to lie here, I kind of lost my shit when Anne Hathaway did her solo. I love this story, I love this movie, but I am so depressed for the characters. Hey, can we give them a sequel and call it, “Less Miserable”.

Side by Side

• 2012
• Documentary

I respect traditional film but there are too many financial and production benefits to digital. All of the A-list directors that side with tape, have a nostalgic romance with it but they can also appreciate digital. Times are changing and those going against the grain will need to pay out of pocket to keep tradition going.

The next method of filming (I have no idea what) that can put digital out of business will then have the right to call digital “traditional” as well. It doesn’t matter what we/they consider traditional or even natural. It’s just pure progression and that, in itself, is the most natural thing.

Premium Rush

• 2012
• Action
• Thriller

Is this supposed to be a serious thriller because there is human trafficking, gambling, organized crime, and violence.

OR

Is this some cornball, cat-and-mouse chase, sponsored by Google Maps.

Compliance

• 2012
• Crime
• Drama
• Thriller

This is done really well. It dives deep into how far people go when they are in a position of power. However, it is really hard to sit through. At some points, I found myself wishing I was watching a grotesque horror, instead.

ParaNorman

• 2012
• Adventure
• Animation
• Comedy

Paranorman has a special style that looks vintage, yet modern with its animation. It fuses stop-motion with today’s CG. The story has a great lesson for children and adults will find it liberal, while also reminding grown-ups to be more like kids.

Zero Dark Thirty

• 2012
• Action
• Drama
• History

Forget all the controversy surrounding this movie. This is a superb film, even though you know how it’s going to end. Oh, you don’t know? The bad guy gets shot in the face, ‘Merica!

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

• 2012
• Adventure
• Fantasy

All the beautiful and fantastical aspects of this lore is there, as you would expect. Even though it was very slow and nearly pointless in the beginning, it was a lot of fun. It would have been better to see more turmoil when these dwarves are in tight situations. Looking forward to the next one.

The Watch

• 2012
• Comedy
• Sci-fi

A lazy and predictable comedy with aliens and dick jokes.

Taken 2

• 2012
• Action
• Crime
• Thriller

I was yearning for some sassy character to scream at the wife, “Aw no! You got taken, too!?!”

I'm dumb.

Bernie

• 2012
• Comedy
• Crime
• Drama

There is no lung-popping laughter here but it is bizarrely entertaining. Jack Black is perfect for this role, adding his trademark elements that actually make you attached to his character. That’s right, you’ll actually care about a Jack Black character.