Taken 2

• 2012
• Action
• Crime
• Thriller

I was yearning for some sassy character to scream at the wife, “Aw no! You got taken, too!?!”

I'm dumb.

This Is 40

• 2012
• Comedy

These types of 40-year-olds do exists. I just never, ever, want to be friends with them when I’m 40. They’re the laughing stock in their circle of friends and for this kind of movie, that’s a good thing. Enjoy the toilet humor and shameful parenting, if that's your kind of thing.

That's My Boy

• 2012
• Comedy

Calling this Adam Sandler movie "crappy" is an upgrade.

The Tall Man

• 2012
• Crime
• Drama
• Mystery

Great on atmosphere, not so much on the sociological twist that happens mid-way through the film. The twist itself isn't bad and it will jerk some sympathy out of you, but nobody wanted it. Well, not nobody, maybe just the people that gave this a bad review and others that we're expecting something much more intense from the writer/director of Martyrs.

Total Recall

• 2012
• Action
• Adventure
• Sci-fi

The best thing about the original was its charmingly ridiculous style. Looks like the producers didn’t care for that and wanted a more serious and sexier reboot. Does it work? Nope. It’s not smart nor clever enough to take the original’s crown, but it does have some cool, high-tech, Sci-fi stuff if you just want to see rad shit.

Ted

• 2012
• Comedy
• Fantasy

It’s so much easier to get away with gross, rude, and raunchy humor when it’s coming from a teddy bear, which I enjoyed all of. One of the top five comedies of 2012.

Take This Waltz

• 2012
• Comedy
• Drama

If anyone other than Michelle Williams played this neurotic and love-torn girl, this film could easily be disastrous. Hats off to Seth Rogan and the rest of cast as well. The summary sounds like your average love story about conflicting feelings but there's much more to it than you would assume.

Sarah Polley directs this in a delicate, yet effective way, which is difficult to fully explain in this small review space. Don’t get me wrong, this movie isn’t perfect, especially for those looking for a “safe” rom-com. There are a few things I didn’t like myself (and really disagreed with), but this film out of left field is a homerun.

This Means War

• 2012
• Action
• Comedy
• Romance

A lot of women are going to like this because two hunks, Chris Pine and Tom Hardy, fight over a girl. It's like how we all know Twilight is crap but people love the hell out of it, based only on that premise. If you can suspend reality for two hours then you'll have some mild fun with McG's stupidly, action-packed, juvenile attempt at movie making.

Tucker and Dale vs Evil

• 2011
• Comedy
• Horror

I usually avoid dumb, hillbilly comedies but these two guys make it work, especially Alan Tudyk. The way kids die in this movie is morbidly hilarious. Recommended if you want to see rednecks assists in teenage suicides.

Terri

• 2011
• Comedy
• Drama

Some say that this is a charming character study of the nerdy-outsider genre. Others like to use words like "thoughtful" or "delightful" when reviewing Terri. I can agree with those descriptions but somebody forgot to say that this is one of the most boring movies ever made.

Tiny Furniture

• 2010
• Comedy
• Drama

I like this but I can never recommend it to anyone. The plot is paper thin and nothing really happens. It feels more like you're hanging out with the characters, just chatting it up. That's where the lack of appeal is; who the hell wants to 'hang out' for a film? The most outstanding things here is the dialogue and the chemistry of the family (because they are a real family), but beyond that, most people will just flag this as a boring hipster film.

This Must Be the Place

• 2011
• Comedy
• Drama

What place? This film is all over the place. The story is stale and the direction is as wobbly as a blind drunk trying to walk a straight line.

Take Shelter

• 2011
• Drama
• Thriller

This film is as eerie as Micheal Shannon's face.

In all seriousness, it's a good one. Shannon performs so well that I gave in to his unpredictability as a border-lining madman. Near the end of the film, I was genuinely worried about what his intentions were towards...don't want to give away too much. Take Shelter is one of the hidden gems of 2011.

Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

• 2012
• Comedy

I rented this because Ferrell, Reilly, and Galifianakis is in it. Don't let that fool you, this is the pinnacle of toilet humor and it's absolutely retarded. Although I did laugh a bit...for all the wrong reasons. Here's what you're getting yourself into:

Tower Heist

• 2011
• Action
• Comedy
• Crime

A clumsy, dumb, and unfunny film with weak performances. When Eddie Murphy is the funniest character among the rest, that's got to tell you something.

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

• 2011
• Drama
• Mystery
• Thriller

A deep espionage thriller that isn’t all that thrilling, but it’s good. If you watch with undivided attention, you’ll find an intriguingly grim mystery beneath all the glum-looking, chain-smoking, old geezers. This isn’t for everyone and if you’re expecting something like The Bourne Identity, then you’ll end up with “The Bored Identity.”

Tabloid

• 2010
• Documentary

There are so many things happening in this documentary, from S&M sex to cloning puppies. The story is outrageous but what makes it more so is how the media got involved in this. What I like most is that you're not sure who to trust at the end of it all.

The Thing

• 2011
• Horror
• Mystery
• Sci-fi

The thing about this is that it just magnifies on how gross the original was and it succeeds somewhat. The monster is absolutely disgusting, but it is CG. Beyond all of that, it's not a good film especially how they tried to throw in some origin about the monster. I knew I should have waited for the DVD but my urge to see a horror got the best of me.

The Tree of Life

• 2011
• Drama

The first half an hour is like a long trailer for some National Geographic special. It is beautiful. A lot of people defend this film as “deep.” I found it pretentious, vague, and it becomes pointless after all the cool visuals fade away.

Even Sean Penn said it himself that he doesn’t understand the purpose of his character or the full scope of the movie. The Tree of Life is a movie that I can really appreciate but not a movie I can ever love.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

• 2011
• Action
• Adventure
• Sci-fi

Michael Bay’s Transformers movies will always be liked by the masses and disliked by the critics. People will keep on paying to see stuff explode, no matter how stupid it is. I’m really tired of this franchise and I’m glad I waited for the $1 rental because that’s all it’s worth.

Trust

• 2010
• Drama
• Thriller

I had to sit through 70 minutes of screaming matches until the parents finally figured out their daughter’s true feelings. This movie’s backbone is Clive Owen and the girl who plays his daughter. There are times when I feel sorry for them but more times when I can’t stand them. That doesn’t mean they can't act, they both did a great job, I just didn’t like their characters.

For those that have seen this and want hard justice to be dished out, go watch Seven Days instead. Just be warned that is extremely hard to stomach.

The Tourist

• 2010
• Action
• Drama
• Romance

Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie doing flirty stuff and dodging bullets at romantic locations; this should be good!

Shit, it isn’t.

The Trip

• 2010
• Comedy

This film made me miss my best friend. It also made me hungry as hell. Then it made me think about my life. Lastly and most importantly, it made me laugh.

Take Me Home Tonight

• 2011
• Comedy
• Drama

This is really bad but if you're an 80's love child like I am, you should at least watch it for nostalgic reasons. It was evident that I was only able to enjoy the movie if some new wave song was playing in the background.

Don't worry, that is not the Trampire from Twilight.

Thor

• 2011
• Action
• Adventure
• Drama

Cheesy at times but fun all the time! Many people (including me) thought this was going to be bad when it was first announced. It's tough to make anything this fantastical – enjoyable. Yet, I think they pulled it off well. Girls, go watch it because of Chris Hemsworth. Guys, go watch it because you're a guy.

TRON: Legacy

• 2010
• Action
• Adventure
• Sci-fi

Like the first Tron, there is nothing really spectacular here except for the brain-melting visuals. Both films are similar with characters we don't care about. And both have amazing Sci-fi soundtracks. This isn't a good movie but it's an accurate sequel.

True Grit

• 2010
• Adventure
• Drama
• Western

Who is this little Hailee Steinfeld girl? She plays a stubborn and sharp-tongued teenager who is seeking revenge for her father's death by hiring a tough (but drunk) U.S. Marshal to track down the killer.

2010 was a good year for movies and True Grit is one of those titles to backup that statement.

The Town

• 2010
• Crime
• Drama
• Thriller

We’re finishing up 2010 and I am very confident to say that The Town is this year’s best crime movie.

This Boy's Life

• 1993
• Biography
• Drama

I was at the same stage as DiCaprio's character so this film spoke to me. The acting by both mom's boyfriend (played by De Niro) and DiCaprio was superb.

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

• 2006
• Documentary

This documentary makes some very interesting points and they do try to investigate the elusive MPAA, the company that rates American movies. Within those interesting points are a few things that I strongly disagree with. Overall, it’s worth a watch if you’re into this sort of stuff.

Tales from the Script

• 2009
• Documentary

This documentary takes you to the start of how movies are made. It starts with a script by the screenwriters and this is their story of triumphs and frustrations (mostly frustrations). Very insightful and well-done.

TiMER

• 2009
• Comedy
• Drama
• Fantasy
• Romance

I can’t hate this movie but I can’t love it either. The thing that kept me infatuated was the concept. It’s about a timer that counts down to when you’re going meet your true love and it is 100% accurate. Unfortunately, for our leading lady, her timer is blank and then all sorts of typical romcom elements come into play. I’m not totally confident to recommend this one, you’ll just have to the trailer and see if it’s worth your time.

Toy Story 3

• 2010
• Animation
• Adventure
• Comedy
• Family
• Fantasy

It was a long time in the making but totally worth it. A touching and great conclusion that’s nothing short of excellent.

Triangle

• 2009
• Drama
• Mystery
• Thriller

I'm not usually a fan of movies that need to be figured after you watch them but the theories behind this one will contort the hell out of your mind in a fascinating way. This is an awesome, brain-bender that deserves a lot more attention than it actually got.

The Time Traveler's Wife

• 2009
• Drama
• Romance
• Sci-fi

Oh hell no, girl! You did not just cheat on me with my future me!

The Tournament

• 2009
• Action

Every 7 years a tournament takes place in an unsuspecting town. 30 of the world’s best assassins come together to kill each other for a first prize reward of $10,000,000.

Every once in awhile, a crappy movie comes along with a laughable concept but manages to pull it off in a very enjoyable way. Just don’t expect anything more than that and you'll have a good time. Warning, there’s a lot of blood and gore here – I mean a lot.

Taking Woodstock

• 2009
• Comedy
• Music

This film focused more on the smaller-scale stories of Woodstock rather than the main stage. Ang Lee did a great job to show you the audience's point of view on the scope of the festival and all the personalities in attendance. That part is good but the story carried too much dead weight and was only brought back to life with a dose of drugs.

"Taking Woodstock?" More like "Taking Drugs."

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

• 2006
• Action
• Comedy
• Sport

Too much yapping.

Thirst

• 2009
• Drama
• Horror

Famed Korean director, Chan-wook Park of Oldboy, takes a shot at a vampire flick. There is a bizarre love story, a lot of drama, dark humor, and a very artistic (but still nasty) approach to blood. With all those things said, you wouldn't think that it could be pulled off but it does; in a very unforgettable way. This is my favorite horror pick for 2009 so far.

The Time Machine

• 2002
• Sci-fi
• Adventure
• Action

Really cool effects, pretty bad movie.

Throw Momma from the Train

• 1987
• Crime
• Comedy

The mother is so effing mean in this movie, it's hilarious.

The Ten

• 2007
• Comedy

This is a great comedy with a bunch of short stories inspired by the ten commandments. Even the trailer is hilarious.

Trick 'r Treat

• 2008
• Comedy
• Drama
• Horror
• Thriller

This is a nice breather away from all the other tacky and serious horrors. It’s a bunch of inner-twining story angles that are reminiscent of those told around a Halloween campfire.

Tremors II: Aftershocks

• 1996
• Action
• Comedy
• Horror
• Sci-fi

Sequels tend to suck. Sequels to movies like these are supposed to really suck, but this wasn’t nearly as bad as expected.

Tokyo!

• 2008
• Drama

Quite out there and artsy but still maintained a balanced level between clarity and abstraction. Three directors make 3, 35-minute movies with Tokyo as the backdrop. The first and third ones are my favorites.

The Taking of Pelham 123

• 2009
• Crime
• Drama
• Thriller

I really wanted to like John Travolta’s bad guy role but the excessive swearing did not help. Saying “motherfucker” all the time does not make him more tough. It makes him look like a guy with tattoos and tourettes.

Titus

• 1999
• Drama
• Fantasy
• War

Titus is visually stunning and atmospherically poetic. This is an adaptation of Shakespeare’s play, “Titus Andronicus.” The film is really out there and definitely not for us mortals that don’t have knowledge of high-brow theater.

Training Day

• 2001
• Crime
• Drama
• Thriller

Man up and watch this movie if you haven't yet. And smoke some weird drugs while your'e at it, you little wimp fart!

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

• 2009
• Action
• Adventure
• Sci-fi

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

• 2006
• Horror
• Thriller

Trying to capitalize off of the 2003 remake, this one shows us the roots of Leatherface. It’s more gross, more frightening, and less good.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

• 2003
• Horror
• Thriller

The original movie was one of the greatest horror films ever made. I know this one didn’t get the highest of reviews but it honestly didn’t shame the original.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

• 1974
• Horror
• Thriller

One of the greatest horror films ever made.

There Will Be Blood

• 2007
• Drama
• Thriller

Once again, Daniel Day-Lewis kills it in this movie. I realized after seeing this, that I never knew what he clearly looks like so when I looked him up, it blew my mind. He gets so into his character that he literally changes shape; it’s incredible. Let’s also give a big hand to Paul Dano, for his stellar performance as the irritating, young preacher. Not only is this one of the best, hard-hitting dramas, ever, but it’s easily one of the best films of all time.

Teen Wolf

• 1985
• Comedy
• Fantasy

I'm not sure what came first, this movie or the Saturday morning cartoon. Who cares, I didn't like either as a kid.

Tokyo Gore Police

• 2008
• Action
• Horror
• Sci-fi

Another gore fest by Yoshihiro Nishimura. No name celebs, horrible acting, ridiculous directing, the most asinine script, and absurd amounts of blood and guts. Pretty much opposite of anything that deemed “good.”

They Live

• 1988
• Action
• Horror
• Sci-fi
• Thriller

This is a rad alien invasion flick, and, of all the heroes that's going to save us, it's Roddy Piper!

The Thing

• 1982
• Horror
• Mystery
• Sci-fi
• Thriller

This is a classic horror film with one of the most grotesque alien monsters ever seen on screen. It was especially frightening for me when I saw this at the age of seven.

Turok: Son of Stone

• 2008
• Animation
• Sci-fi

Turok is an angry indian warrior who kills anything that can bleed. He’s put to the test when his own tribe boots him out and he has to fight off dinosaurs. It’s all so very uninteresting.

The Three Musketeers

• 1993
• Action
• Adventure
• Comedy
• Family
• History
• Romance

Disney hires a bunch of hunks to star in this rendition of The Three Musketeers story.

Thank You for Smoking

• 2005
• Comedy
• Drama

This is a great movie about Big Tobacco’s chief spokesman battling the American media. You did good chief, enjoy a cigarette. Go on, smoke it. Why won’t you smoke a cigarette, I see you holding the pack and staring at it. Are those cigarettes even real? This movie is making my brain hurt.